Change of Taste

The four of us went to the birthday party of a 1-year-old boy yesterday at a place called My Gym. Raquel and Maxine got to play with several kids their age and romp around on the play equipment--they even had a zip line for kids to try. Maxine's favorite activity was the trampoline and, surprisingly, she was really good at it!
The sun shone this weekend, which put me in an instantly-good mood yesterday morning, playing loud, happy music while sweeping the house.
I'm getting really bored of eating the typical healthy groceries I've been eating since January 4th but I haven't had a chance to do any grocery shopping so I have eaten some not-so-healthy things, like cereal. What a disappointing experience this has been--eating cereal, that is. My taste buds must be refining themselves! I used to be a cereal fanatic, all my life, and now? Not even my old favorite, Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, does anything for me. What else has been a disappointment? Cheeseburgers. I haven't had a really good one in a year or more. I feel like I'm on a quest for one worthy of my sacrifice [of calories], because to waste calories on mediocre would-be delicious food doesn't even reach the point of satisfaction. It rather leaves me seeking that taste I long for after eating brown rice and veggies day after day to "make my tummy smaller" as I explain to Raquel (who keeps me on my toes about what I eat, now, mind you).
Where have all the good cheeseburgers gone?

Joyfulness

Rudolph was on tv last night! We pigged out on doughnuts and milk and enjoyed the show together. I have always loved this tv special.

Before the show, I took Raquel to Payless to get a new pair of shoes for school. She had received a special gift card from her school--many more fortunate people donate food baskets and gift cards for the less fortunate students at her school--Raquel has been designated as one such student. We have also received tons of groceries in the past week. All of these donations were a HUGE surprise to us. I didn't know they knew we needed it! Jose and I can't believe how much food we received. It filled our pantry! Writing this and thinking about how much people care really makes my eyes wet. It has given Jose and I one less thing to worry about but not only that--the feeling of joyfulness just makes everything better.

Then I woke up this morning with a somewhat mysterious burst of positivity. It carried through all day and into my evening class. I had to give a short presentation. Just yesterday I was worried about it but this sudden confidence made it a snap. I felt like a different Me because I just wasn't nervous. And guess who got to be the first one to present? :)

Two weeks from today this semester will be history. And a week after that is Christmas. It's gonna be a good one. I am feeling joyful.

Thanks for checking in.

My Schoolin'!

After about a decade-long hiatus, I started back to college this summer at Pasadena City College down the street from home. I applied late and they didn't have many classes left so I took a critical reading class. I was pretty sure I was gonna kick it's butt. I ended up working so much harder than I thought I would. Jose played "Mr. Mom" several hours a day more than he usually does (that's what he called it). Housekeeping was the last thing on my priority list, I'll tell you that much. At several points I tried to convince myself to keep trucking and not buy into the vexing thoughts that I had bitten off more than I could chew. It's just one class!, I told myself repeatedly.
I'm older now and I'm a completely different student than I was before...in a good way. This time, it is not just about having fun, floating along in life--this time it's about getting more out of life than just surviving. I'd like to enjoy my time on Earth. That means cutting out the struggling, worrying, fighting and moping.
In January of 2008 I made one little resolution to pray more and worry less. It worked. My blood pressure, which had been "borderline" for a while, even went back to a healthy number. But worrying less only took care of one (major) problem. After I gave birth to Maxine last summer I weighed nearly 200lbs. That's a slow death for a person of my stature. I changed my diet and since then have lost about 45lbs. I'm still not at my goal but I'm damn close. Losing so much weight eventually made me feel worthy. Whether that's right or wrong doesn't matter. That's what happened. I started to feel like I was wasting my life at home washing dishes and changing diapers. I'm fun to be around and I have a lot to offer, I told myself. I should go see what I can get! Yadda yadda yadda, I'm a student again!
This class was a short 6 weeks long, 4 days a week, homework every night, exams and quizzes every week and as a finale, a research paper and related oral presentation. I got a B on the first exam. I wasn't satisfied with that but it served as a gauge for future exams from this professor. I knew exactly what she was looking for at that point. I got an A on the next one and got A+'s on the rest. I also aced the oral presentation, which was a big deal for me because I loathe doing oral presentations. But I warmed up all semester long by contributing to class discussions from my desk and asking lots of questions. Yesterday I took the final exam and I have to say I'm 95% sure I aced that, too. The research paper won't be graded until next week, so we'll see. Even though this is technically a reading class, I earned my A's by writing good essays. I found out writing is my forte as opposed to multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank questions. My teacher said it also helps that I've started reading books instead of watching TV (I stopped watching TV a few months ago when we couldn't afford cable anymore). Reading helps you write better!
Now I'm off for a month before I start the Fall Semester. I'll be taking photography, art history and speech (eeek!). I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully, Jose and I will figure out a way to organize our time as parents and housekeepers. That, I think, is more challenging than working hard for an A+.

We Walked in Two Districts

Old Town Pasadena and The Playhouse District [of Pasadena] are right next to each other. The girls and I took a walk this evening when the sun was about to set. Maxine was strapped onto me in the Baby Bjorn. Raquel carried her Thomas backpack with snacks and other little necessities. Our walk was a delight. Both girls were content and peaceful (so was I).

Raquel posed for this shot. The cart was already tipped over so why not make art out of it?!

Raquel couldn't hold still for that last shot.

With Food Out of the Way...

Food is no longer an enemy, nor a friend. It's nothing to me but a part of the daily routine, like teeth-brushing. I have lost 40 lbs, folks. Pretty dang amazing.

There is something I did not foresee, something happening to me right now. It is this: Without my former life-long vice, unpleasantries abound. The proverbial hole in my soul is staring right at me. Who knew I'd get to see it like this? Or ever? I have no want to drown it in booze or fill it with pizza (admittedly, pizza sounds fantastic right now, but no). There has got to be something else to do with this thing, this hole. Right?

Yes, I have wonderful children. Yes, I have really neat friends. Yes, I am capable of doing and creating a surplus of questionably useful things that are semi-interesting. But I suddenly feel I'm wasting my capabilities and that I should be doing something to turn them into talents.

This entry is all over the place but you know why, right? I'm just now putting my thoughts into these little words for the first time ever. I am a new me. Thank goodness I'm young enough to follow up the figuring with actions. Go figger.

******

Here is one of many illustrations by Raquel in my sudoku book. She draws pictures in this book everyday. This one happens to be me getting my hair done by my hair-doer, Sara, and Raquel and Maxine are sitting in chairs off to the side, waiting for me to get done. I don't know why Sara has crazy-big teeth. Don't you love it?

Maki & Stuff for Lunch

Okay, I made tomorrow's lunch: Spamburger Maki with sides of brocolli, pickled baby corn, edamame, kiwi and butterscotch pudding for dessert. I am sure about everything except the kiwi but since it was only 25 cents I figure I can afford to waste it if it isn't a hit.

In case you're wondering what the ingredients are: one nori leaf (roasted seaweed), spread half of it with neufchatel cheese, then Calrose rice on top of that (the bowl of water is for keeping your hands moist enough to handle the rice), then raw spinach, light Spam, carrots and ketchup. I know it sounds like it wouldn't taste good but it does. And Raquel likes it so that's what really matters. The reason I only spread the filling on half of the nori leaf is because of who this is for. I must make the maki slices small enough for a four-year-old to eat with ease. The plain half of the nori leaf acts as reinforcement when the maki is rolled--everything is kept inside neatly.Every sushi instruction video I've seen says you need a bamboo sheet/placemat and plastic wrap to roll the maki tightly but I've never used these things. I just roll delicately but firmly and then squeeze the roll if it feels at all loose.Cutting is the hard part for me. I don't have any good sharp knives. So I do the best I can with the heaviest knife I have and rely on the weight of the knife to pierce the nori and gently "saw" back and forth all the way through.And here is the result:I did this with brown rice last time because it is healthier but since this meal has to travel I figured I'd use sticky white rice. I topped these off with a bonito flake seasoning mixture that tastes so good with sticky rice.

Thanks for reading!

Not So Sure About School Lunch

(Raquel likes to make this face)

Preschool is still a happy place for Raquel. It has been one week since she started and she's doing very well at listening and getting up early five days a week. Her parents are enjoying this new schedule, too. Jose likes to get up early to take her to school. I get everything ready the night before, lay out her clothes, make breakfast. He gets her up at 6:30, brushes her teeth, dresses her, fixes her hair and off they go to Starbucks for Jose's coffee and then to school where he walks her to the classroom and signs her in each day. I have had to change the way I do things at night as to get Raquel to bed early enough and make sure everything's ready for the next day. But I like having this new routine.
I have noticed she's putting on weight and I'm not exactly sure why but when I pick her up everyday in the cafeteria (that's where the parents go to pick up the kids) lunch is usually something greasy, like pizza or a corndog. That's not how she eats at home. But I know that a lot of 4-year-olds are allowed to be picky and won't eat grilled chicken and brocolli on whole wheat pasta as readily as they will gobble down cheese pizza. So the school must go with the safer choice, the foods that most kids will eat without being prodded. I'm just going to wait and see if Raquel continues to gain like this. The girl is damned when it comes to her genetics and predisposition to get fat. When I was a kid, I remember asking my mom if I would get fat when I was older (she was, at the time, very overweight). She told me I would not get fat and that I didn't have anything to worry about. She was wrong!
Jose had always been "husky" as a kid and now he's technically "obese". Our kids have the potential to be really overweight and I have always been aware of that and concerned about it. This is why ice cream, candy, soda and Happy Meals are rare things in our house. Raquel is very good at eating what she's given, although there have been those phases of pretending not to like chicken and such, which is so frustrating when it happens! She is used to the taste of whole grains and veggies. But she's very smart, too, and if she is eating dinner at someone else's house, she'll act like she doesn't like anything which will result in people feeding her less healthy food. Yes, she's that manipulative! You are all a bunch of suckers in her eyes. HAhahaha!
And now about Maxine...Yesterday after I picked up Raquel from school, the three of us went to the Target by her school to get groceries. It was Maxine's first time sitting in a grocery cart and I had to photograph the moment. I put bulky blankets and toys in the seat with her so she wouldn't slouch too much or hurt herself. She is so tiny in that cart seat! She enjoyed the ride, behaved so well the whole time.

New in My Kitchen: Fennel

Weight Watchers has been the way I'm living since about 5 months ago. As such, Raquel eats a lot of what I eat plus other stuff that she loves. She is being exposed to some semi-sophisticated ingredients while also enjoying her macaroni and cheese in the blue box. For the most part, she likes what I cook.

My diet consists of foods from a specific list which excludes added-sugar, bread and alcohol. It forces me to try new things and try to present the same-old-same-old in new ways. Avoiding boredom is super important to sticking to this lifestyle. The newest item in my fridge is fennel or anise (not sure why it has two names). I think it's pretty. If celery and onion were to have a baby, this is what it would look and feel like but the taste is completely in a class of its own. Tastes like black licorice with a refreshing hint of citrus. When the oranges in my yard are ripe I'm going to prepare them together, maybe in a salad. But for now, I sautee or roast the fennel with carrots, salt and pepper. You should try it!

Since I gained a little weight last week, this week I'm making up for it, cooking strictly healthy foods for myself and whoever else feels like eating what I cook. I consider this week a big success in regards to losing weight and being a creative cook.

Homemade sushi is really fun to make and it's pretty simple. I make up my own recipe and put whatever I happen to have in the fridge inside the roll. I use brown rice, which isn't as tasty as sticky white rice *drool* and it also makes it more difficult to cut clean slice as the rice kinda falls out a bit but it's still managable. Nori is a staple in my fridge. It is easy to find at a regular grocery store in the Asian foods section. No need to locate a specialty store. Raquel loves it when I make sushi. Although I love to eat sashimi at Japanese restaurants I do not use raw ingredients in my homemade sushi as I have not found a trustworthy source yet.

My favorite vegetable is brussel sprouts. I was buying them frozen and cooking them in the microwave but have recently discovered how delicious they are when bought fresh and sauteed with fresh garlic, salt and nutmeg. The nutmeg really brings out their spiciness--something you don't taste in the frozen variety. Raquel likes them, too!
*****
My strategies for eating healthy...

• Prepare a big pot of brown rice in the morning. Zap portions in the microwave for meals the next 2 days.


• Buy only whole grain pasta if you want pasta. Don't buy "multi-grain" because that does not necessarily mean whole grain. My favorite brand is Heartland.


• If you like ground beef (burgers, tacos, meatloaf) make sure it has no more than 7% fat.


• Buy frozen veggies when they're on sale. Stock up. You can keep them a long time while you figure out how best to prepare them and make them flavorful.


• Pretend sandwiches don't exist. (no bread, no deli meat)


• Search the internet for recipes first, then go get your ingredients at the store.


• Be aware of expiration dates on fresh meat and store them in the fridge accordingly (stuff you should eat within the next day or so should be right in front while stuff that can wait 6 days should be towards the back)


• Nonfat sour cream isn't half bad. Try it on a baked potato with I Can't Believe Its Not Butter Spray.


• Stock up on frozen fruit when it is on sale. You can use it in so many ways: mixed in oatmeal (the heat makes them soft), homemade fat-free parfaits, homemade smoothies.


• Dennisons Turkey Chili is delicious and it is on sale for $1/can at Vons right now. I melt a slice of fat-free cheese on top of it.


• Eat eggs. Figure out ways to make them different every time you eat them.


• When you're hungry at night before bed time, drink a big glass of nonfat milk.

I could keep going! If this post bored you, sorry :)

Short Nature Hike

This afternoon Jose had an appointment that got cancelled, so we packed some snacks and went to the Eaton Canyon Natural Area Park. I got the idea from this blog I recently started following. While we live here, I'd like to start taking advantage of all the natural attractions that surround us. Being that we live nearly at the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains and not far from Griffith Park there is presumably much to see.

I'm not happy with some of the landscape shots I took. It seems I had the flash on when I shouldn't have. But here are my favorites. There was no water at all in the wash (creek). And the birds in the tree are Woodpeckers, busy pecking (so cute)! Raquel was actin' stank. Look at her face.

Crisp Night Walk

We expected it to be cold outside for our evening walk through the neighborhood but it was actually pleasantly chilly. The walk was a long one and everyone we passed said 'good evening' or 'happy new year'. Some kids told us of a dog named Maxine just a few houses up the street from ours. But we didn't see the dog outside when we passed.This is the sign on our block. I don't know what it means yet. But I do know we live in a ghetto area. There is a half-way house very nearby where Scott Weiland has stayed in the past. And the elementary school that Raquel is supposed to attend this Fall is the worst one in the district and is in the Accelerated Schools program which I am learning about. I think it is for kids who live in not-so-good 'hoods, whose parents might be addicts or in jail or for kids who live in broken homes, kids who need extra attention at school because their homelife isn't nurturing. We are`applying to other schools.

Sunny Day In January

The girls and I went on a walk yesterday in our neighborhood. We are relatively deep into this neighborhood and it would be a long walk to reach any retail establishment or place to grab a refreshment. So on our walk we just talked about the trees and flowers we saw and Raquel learned to be careful when approaching a blind corner, one where she might meet a dog who barks at the sight of her. It usually just takes one time for her to get frightened about something.

Maxine was in the Bjorn (the best front-loading hands-free baby carrier). That's why she isn't in any of these photos.

Raquel wanted to touch this big Oak. She said, "It's so soft, like one of my blankets." Maybe she just wanted to give it a compliment.

Our street is lined with these Oaks. They are protected by the City of Pasadena. The street just north of ours' is called Flower and it is lined with Palms, I think the Washington variety. It amazes me how the trunk is so straight and narrow, yet the trees are about a hundred feet tall, give or take.

I feel funny taking pictures of peoples' houses but sometimes I try to be sly and sneak a shot. I am afraid of upsetting anyone in their house who might see me. We have so many quaint century-old houses I'd love to take pictures of. We just found out our house, which I thought was built in the 1920s, was actually built in 1905!

We passed a tree that had dropped a bunch of these weird fruits on the ground. They're really pretty, covered in tiny dull spikes. Raquel picked one up and took it on a walk with us.

There was this one Oak with a root system that was very above ground. It looked kinda neat.

Then we came home and swung in our backyard.

Not much else going on except cleaning up all the Christmas crap and WAITING for my sister and friends to give BIRTH!

Santa's Lap

The four of us went to the mall today to take the Santa picture. I bought Maxine a dress last month specifically for this picture. I bought one for Raquel, too, but she's worn it a few times without it being washed so I decided to have her wear her birthday dress instead. It looked really pretty. I did not want to pay the ridiculous price for the photo CD so we just bought a couple 5x7s. Here is our collection of Santa pictures starting from when Raquel was 5 months old in 2004.

In 2004, Raquel and I waited in a very long line to see Santa. When I gave her to him she looked upset but the photographer took the picture fast enough that we got a good one before she cried.

In 2005, Raquel was very upset at seeing Santa so Jose sat with her.

In 2006, Raquel cried yet again. She refused to sit on his lap, so I sat with her.

Last year Raquel was happy to see Santa and she looked darling.

Today, both girls did great. Raquel was outgoing and smiley and Maxine just sat there staring off into the distance. That was a better reaction than I expected!

Afterward we had lunch at the mall and shopped for tacky Christmas sweaters to wear to my dad's house on Christmas Day. They are very hard to find!

And just in case you were wondering how much weight I've lost so far on Weight Watchers....21.2lbs. The jeans I'm wearing in this picture are so big I don't even have to unbutton them to take them off.

Christmas Cookies: Batch One!

Today marked the beginning of my Christmas baking frenzy. I enjoy this time of year so much! It is great to have an excuse to bake mounds and stacks of sweet stuff. Since I am on Weight Watchers, I really gotta watch it when I taste test. Just really tiny bites and that's it.

Raquel did a lot of photography for me while I prepared the cookie dough. Then I let her do the "fun part" of the preparation which was placing the special candies on each dollop of dough. I'm not going to tell what these special candies are. If you get a gift of cookies from me for Christmas, these will be a surprise.